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Sunday Morning Reflections

Writer's picture: Ashlee CarbonaroAshlee Carbonaro

Sunday mornings have a way of slowing life down, even if just for a moment. As I sit in my quiet office space, sipping my coffee and reflecting on the past couple of weeks, I realize just how nice the quiet actually is. It’s peaceful. I could have stayed home, soaking in the sunlight that fills the living room, with my dogs curled up beside me. But something called me to the office today—a need for solitude, for space to breathe, to think and to reflect.


The past few weeks have been heavy, filled with stressors and unknowns. There has been heartbreaking news from friends, reminders of life's fragility. And then there’s the ever-present whirlwind of raising teenagers—an exhausting climb, sometimes steep and unrelenting. Each of them is navigating their own inner battles, trying to find their place in this unpredictable world.


One kid is making college decisions, and the expectation of knowing what they want to study is so hard and deciding on where they want to go. Far away or just far enough away to feel away. (I won't mention the million questions asked by FAFSA or college applications) I’m almost 40 (Yikes - I said it out loud!) and I’m heading back to college to continue my own education to get me where my heart feels the happiest. How can they even know at 17?! Makes my head hurt just thinking about it but I will keep guiding them forward with love.


Another kid is struggling with balancing school, life, their own expectations for themselves, and recovering from a couple of years of shitty friends and situations. Finding motivation just to do simple things can be hard. I think that finding themselves is most important and finding their own passion is the next step forward. I'm just patiently (sometimes) waiting, watching, hoping and guiding (also known as "pushing" if you're a teenager). I will keep pushing and loving them unconditionally.


Another one is attempting to navigate an estranged relationship when all cards are stacked against them and the expectations are unrealistic and uneven. I think of the expression, "zebras don't change their stripes?" Someones fundamental character cannot be changed - it can be masked - but it's not sustainable. Who ends up on top of this relationship? (You know the answer to this - no one) It's hard to sit back and watch - trying to allow space to navigate on their own but when they fall, picking them back up - each and every time. I will keep pushing and showing them love with no strings attached.


And the fourth kid moves through life with friends and is always willing to lend a hand as their kindness runs so deep, but I always wonder what secret battles are they trying to overcome on their own. How does the estranged relationship with the other parent eat away at them? It can't be easy so I'll keep showing up with love and support.


How do these kids find their inner strength when the world's expectations are so high? When my husband and my own expectations of them are high? Where is this balance? (Did I mention that parenting is hard?)


I often reflect on the conversations I have with each of them. It’s not easy to watch them struggle with emotions they don’t yet know how to process. I see their internal tug-of-war, the desire to make an absent parent happy while setting aside their own needs and feelings. Is it a good thing that they are so aware of the emotions of others? Or is it a burden, teaching them to prioritize someone else’s happiness over their own? Where is the line drawn between empathy and self-sacrifice?


As a parent, I struggle with these questions. I want to guide them, to help them find balance, to reassure them that their feelings matter just as much as anyone else’s (more - in my opinion). Honestly, trying to meet someone else's expectations or trying to meet that persons needs that are clearly not being met somewhere else, is not healthy or doable. But it’s a delicate dance, this thing called parenting, and sometimes I’m not sure I have the right steps.


I must say, they always text or call. They always want to chat when we are in the livingroom or when we all sit down for dinner together. Some more than others - each day is different. Sometimes they just come into the same room just to hang out. We enjoy our time all together as a family and honestly, they are great kids. They know who they can go to whenever they need something - we are their home and safe place. My husband and I reflect on all these things and always catch ourselves saying, "well, we must be doing something right."


I remind myself that I need to show my kids the value of hard work, of resilience, of chasing dreams. I want them to see that they are capable of becoming whoever they want to be, that their potential is limitless. More than anything, I want them to find their own inner compass—to not just survive, but thrive.


I find myself excited for what’s ahead - for all of us. I’ve always been someone who looks toward the future, eager for the next chapter. But in that eagerness, I sometimes forget to be present in the now. Life isn’t just about what’s next—it’s about what’s here, today.


So, for now, I take a deep breath. I sip my coffee. I sit in the quiet. And I remind myself that while the future is exciting, the present is where life is actually happening - along with all of the crazy parenting things. I will sit in my solitude for a little while longer or until I get a text asking "whats for dinner tonight?"


Enjoy the peace and quiet - whenever and wherever you're able to get it and enjoy the moments of parenthood. ☕️ Happy Sunday.


💛 Ashlee

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